Assalamualaikum.
Hi nigga. How are you? Healthy? Me, so far I'm okay. Alhamdulillah. Thanks Allah. So it’s been a while I haven’t update this blog. Well, I was quite busy with school so I got no time to spend for this blog. *It seems ya :P study and make a little subject revision with more playing playing. Honestly I say I not diligent as you do not know. I am very lazy. Haha. Back, because you know this blog is all about my feelings. Referring on the post below, as you have read already, I am on dealing with the final examinations at school now. It runs for about 3 weeks. Damn long! And of course this will makes my head fallen within stress and I think I need a good rules to overcome it in an all-out. Someone must be my shoulder and stand behind me for help me along. Anybody want?
But these days, I just felt so empty. Some part of me tells me that I’m lonely and useless. There’s just so many things playing in my mind right now and I’m stressed out. You know, I’m the only one who doesn’t tell
anyone about my problems or anything that is quite emotional and I don’t
know why. I’ll just keep it to myself. I’ll silent myself even if when
I’m mad. Nobody will never know when I cry. And yeah, actually I’m not a big
talker at home. Sometimes I’ll be forced to talk because I’m so lazy to
talk to the family members.
The next thing that has been playing through my mind these days is that, I feel no one of my friends loved me. I also feel that they do not consider me their friend. Is it just game of my feelings? Yes this can be right or wrong. Seriously, I don't know. I bogged down. Maybe this is just a small feeling but I’m so sensitive to this kind of thing so maybe this is my fault. I love all my friends. But they? K end. *Sigh. Nowadays, everybody has their own problems to face. And so I lost a person to lean on. Whenever I fall down, I’ll get back up because I have great friends to give me strength. But things just changed, some people walked away from my life. It’s okay, I’ve told myself a thousand times before this that people come and go. No matter what, I just have to face it though. I don’t know who to look up to when I’m down, I don’t know who to tell about my stories. So I kept it to myself. Keeping only a thing to me is okay, I can handle it but these things are just too many to face by my own. As I say above, I need someone to be my shoulder.
Sometimes I wondered asked myself, why I am so bad and can't handle all of the suck problem? I feel stupid because sometimes I can’t do it on my own. I need to change myself but I also need someone to make me change. But again, I feel so empty, lonely and useless. I must change, Insya’Allah I will. Beloved bestfriend, please assume my errors and bad behavior past time is a lesson for me. I know you all know what I done. I have changed. Believe me if you consider me one as of your good friend.
You guys will never see me down, cause I'm a good liar in making fake laughs and smile. Rahh. Boredom struck me. Sorry sayang. There is nothing more to be said. Peoples say, loads of talk is not good. Then bbye, takecare.
